Friday, July 04, 2008
Of the future, life and of hope...

Walking down the road the other day, I found myself in the middle of what seemed like a gaggle of freshmen from a nearby college. They were walking together in groups, and as I crossed the road, I landed right between two of these groups. The pair of girls in front of me were chattering loudly and me, being myself, walked a little faster to catch up to them to listen to what they were saying. Yes, I eavesdrop. Its a vice or rather an activity of mine, that I tend to indulge in, on a regular basis. It ends up giving me a lot to laugh about but also having to deal with people who catch me laughing to myself in public. That can be quite embarrassing, although completely worth it.

Anyway, as I caught up to the girls, I heard them talking about marriage and astrologers and the like. One was the girls had supposedly gone to see her family astrologer the previous day, who had told her that she might get married the following year or something in that context (I couldn't hear too well). The other girl replied saying that her astrologer had told her that she might get married the year she turns 23. Both the girls were mighty excited at the prospect of their future weddings and were giggling the same way I remember doing when I was their age.

I remember sitting around friends at slumber parties, imagining all our weddings. The time, the place, the clothes, the shoes, the men...we talked about it all, delighting ourselves with each little detail, our giggles laced with hopes for the future and for the rest of our lives.

Now, when I think of the future, I don't see weddings, or husbands, or babies. I see myself, sitting down at the end of a hard day's work, looking out a window at the pouring rain, thanking God that I had made it home before it started. I also see myself happy, albeit the absence of the cushy family life that was previously a big chapter in my book of images of the future.

Its weird the way your outlook on things can change in a short period of time. The way I saw things in December are most definitely not the way I see them now. I can actually feel this surreal transition into adulthood and let me tell you, it is not pretty. I'm beginning to realize my strengths and my weaknesses, and finding out that I have more of the latter than of the former has been pretty tough. At times I feel like I'm being cynical, but then I actually think about it and I realize that this is reality, this is life. This is the thing that everyone screws up at least a couple hundred times. Life isn't gonna be a bed of roses, heck it isn't even gonna be a bed of malli poos*! And exams aren't gonna be the worst things that we face! Its scary this realization. I've learnt a lot about myself in the past month, some stuff that makes me happy, and some stuff that makes me sad, wait, scratch that, a lot of stuff that makes me sad, but I've also learnt, that these are the things that make a person. Not necessarily a perfect person, but a person none the less. And this is the only person that we've got to work with, so we better make the best of it.

Life is funny. It makes you smile one day and it makes you cry the next. I guess that's the great thing. Not knowing the future is a perfect gift because it allows room for hope, and hope is something we all can do a little of.


*malli poo - tamil for jasmine flowers

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27 Comments:
Blogger Brat had this to say:

Ahhh.....the woes of life! ;-) But I must say, I do enjoy adulthood just as much as I enjoyed my childhood. Making your own decisions, right or wrong, buying something as simple as a car with your own money, the little things in the life of a young adult that make you feel good at the end of the day! It all comes down to one word, "responsibility", doesn't it? :-)

5:42 AM 

Anonymous Yuvi had this to say:

Thanks :)

5:43 AM 

Blogger Silvara had this to say:

Lemon...you're growing up and realising that life isn't what it seems out of those rose-tinited glasses...

You'll be fine...who knows what life beyond that bend in the road is like...???

6:38 AM 

Anonymous humbl devil had this to say:

you are still a kid...:)
only 19 ryt??
sometyms, it's hard to believe, but the biggest kids in the house would be our grandpas and mas...hehe

gurl, you have a long way to go and you will be amused by the vibrancy of life...how the smallest things make the biggest changes in our lives...so yeah, do hold on to that lil cloud of hope...

1:57 PM 

OpenID alchemistpoonam had this to say:

I love to hear news from people eavesdrop. Though I don't have skills for eavesdropping (not good ear), I too laugh when walking down the road alone, thinking to myself. :)

5:34 PM 

OpenID biscuitinabasket had this to say:

No worries, its fun to challenge people, and see how they can react! It's also fun to read people who write well!

Also, the S.E Asian point of view in an alternate society is facinating!

Finally, as Oasis once famously said.... I'm trying to start a revolution from my bed... You can extend this invitation to within your circle.... May the challenges continue!

9:56 PM 

Blogger Bungi had this to say:

Hm. Now i understand why you said that my post hit you... Yeah. It's a weird thing, isn't, this becoming adult?

I think we are safe as long as we are willing to modify our outlook as we experience new things... Problem happens when we get stuck in the past and refuse to learn...

11:30 AM 

Blogger Bungi had this to say:

And yeah, don't forget to have fun while you are at it (at life, i mean... :P).

11:30 AM 

Blogger Vasudha had this to say:

Funny thing, life.

12:13 PM 

Blogger wild iris had this to say:

I *love* how you've put this. My thoughts exactly...when I was little, I thought I was so sure of what I wanted and I'd never change my mind, no matter what. Now I can't believe I'd been that stupid.

3:19 PM 

Blogger Animated Junk had this to say:

hope is sumthing we all can do a little off.... rightly said.
u hav potrayed the phase well
its sucha a confused n scary part of lyf wher sumtimes u jump outta bed 5 mins b4 the alarm goes onn n the next day u feel like never wakin up to see the day

10:33 AM 

Blogger gunj had this to say:

great thought!!

2:31 PM 

OpenID biscuitinabasket had this to say:

Hi!

This should be an interesting one to hear from you - http://biscuitinabasket.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/twenty-things/

T

10:05 PM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

You've arrived at the start of your journey of destiny. I remember the days when i was welcoming the sinful age of 16-18. My friends and I would marvel at marriages , look hopefully at couples and dream gleefully for "happily ever after" with a man. As I started growing up , i realized the hard way that happily ever after is what I want it to be. I don't see marriages or kids to shape my life or happiness. I yearn for finding out what my destiny is. That is what happiness is truly about. Go find yours.. ;)
~Niv

9:46 AM 

OpenID ishmeet had this to say:

This post scares me since I'm pretty much on the verge of adulthood too. The fact that exams are not the worst things in life is scary.

2:13 PM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

U haven't grown one bit. U'll know when u've become an adult when u realise that life is exactly what u want it to be. It becomes hard at times ya, but its up to u whether u want to run away from it or face it head on with ur head held high. Cheer up lemon. Ur life's just begun. Trust me, ur gonna look back at this post and smile

4:49 PM 

Blogger Capt. Jack Sparrow had this to say:

Look at all the nice people giving you advice about life and all it has to offer, how you should handle things and all.... LOL

And btw eavesdropping is baaad!!!

5:17 PM 

Anonymous Aravind Kumar had this to say:

marriage is real crappy... Remember I am not married and am very happy.And being an adult is fun. Now I can watch all the adult movies which they play in cinema halls while the same movies are downloaded by 10 yr olds and they get to see the uncut version. being a 10 yr old rocks. but I prefer being where I am. Very happy and rocked out of my mind

10:53 PM 

Blogger Anju had this to say:

Growing up sucks and then it doesn't. Some changes in perspectives are great, some not so great. I wish we could be consistently happy and that things fall into place as we dream about our futures. But it doesn't. Sometimes even for years.

4:34 PM 

Blogger Rahul Mathur had this to say:

ah very well written ! well i am still in school so i am wondering how college life is !

great work and sorry for not being an active commenter : been busy with studies ;(

12:10 PM 

Anonymous nids had this to say:

wow, just the other day, i was trying to re-construct my childhood fantasies of living alone on tp f a hill ...alone with nature...and i coulcn't DO it..!!

my first thought obviously was, shit, i've grown up.

*sigh*

6:32 PM 

OpenID R had this to say:

Hey,

As I was reading, I had a thought that I'd like to give you. If one admits that their weaknesses outnumber their strengths, this could mean that they are asking life to 'Bring it on', take some challenges head on. Could be.

Best,
Surabhi

1:02 PM 

Blogger mindbodysoul had this to say:

To get this posting sent to an elite group of 1250 registered members each day, consider competing (by submitting) for the top voted spot at www.newzly.com - good luck !

5:46 PM 

Blogger Vasanthan had this to say:

you are not the only one who likes to eavesdrop. Its my favorite past-time.

here is a tip. have your ipod, headphones on your ears with no music playing, that way u can get very close to them without them suspecting.

1:14 AM 

Blogger lemonade had this to say:

@brat
I guess...the word os begining to scare me though!

@yuvi
for what?

@sil
if only there were what we see from behind those rose tinted glasses..sigh!

@anony (niv)
that really resonated with me..i hope i'm as lucky as you :) thanks for stopping by!

@ish
isn't it? guess we're all in the same boat! :) don't worry ish, i'm with u all the way!

@anony
thanks N :)

@capt jack
yup, coming from a man who did 'you know what'! :D

@aravind
hmm..its nice to see someone who's completely happy..not very many of those people around anymore! :)
good for u!

@anju
anju..ur scaring the crap outta me..not for years, seriously??

@rahul
no problem rahul! :) college is fun if u do what u want to do, study wise. but don't worry..focus on school now :)

@nids
scary thought, no? Its like boom, one day..and we kinda cant figure out how we got there!

@r
thanks for the encouragement! :) and for visiting!

@vasantha
lol..good tip! I'll keep that in mind, next time! :)

@

@humbl devil
yup..holding on to that for the ride :)

@poonam
its super fun, especially at restaurants :)

@biscuit
thanks for making me post! :) I'll take the tag up a lil later, thanks again!

@

@

2:27 AM 

Blogger lemonade had this to say:

@bungi
aah..change, another scary subject.

@vasudha
yup, it is :)

@wild iris
thanks :) its so weird no? you wonder where ur head had been for so many years!

@animated junk
so true! :)

@gunj
thanks! :)

3:41 AM 

Blogger Tashi had this to say:

what kind of a haircut did u get for 600 bucks? unless i read that wrong!!!

4:00 AM 

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