life lessons

To go back a year later and peep into all the work you've done, is a tad depressing when you realize that it has all trickled down the drain leading to nowheresville.

Somewhere around this time, last year, I started my design blog, where I though it would be a brilliant idea to use my so called talent and dole out free custom templates to those in need of them, through the goodness of my heart.

Lets cut to the chase though. I cannot believe how FREAKING DELUSIONAL I was!!

When something is free, tons of people come running. I know I shouldn't be saying this though, because I was once known for walking around the supermarket trying to find items with the words 'FREE (something')' plastered on them, and then I would proceed to buy the said item just to obtain whatever I was getting free with it, and then I'd walk around the entire day, filled with glee because I had just gotten something FREE!!!

Requests came pouring in, and I tried to please. Requests for changes came, I gave up my last few minutes of internet time making them. Fonts that were disliked, I changed them. Colours that were a shade off, I changed those too and in the end, the people you help, end up screwing you over and start making money off of you. People get so demanding, that, after awhile you feel so bogged down and the trouble that you go through to do something for someone else just doesn't seem worth it anymore. Bloggers are a fussy bunch, we all know that, so I can't say I was too surprised that this happened. I was kinda expecting it at some point anyway, but I didn't think I'd crack this soon. I've actually been away from that space for quite awhile now, it depresses me to go back, because I always end up clicking on the links to find that my work has disappeared, not that I expected it to sit there for long, but not seeing it where it was just a couple of months back, hurts a little.

Just to make thing clear, I am not bitter. On the contrary, I cannot even begin to explain the amount of satisfaction it gives me when I looked at a finished project. I usually get up off of my chair, take a step back and survey my work and most often than not, feel this spurt of happiness inside that I know nothing else can ever trigger. I have to say that it was a amazing experience though.

I'm not planning to shut the blog down, that would break my heart, but I am planning on starting a new one where I'll be charging for services. Charging minimally, seeing how far a dollar goes in this country. I actually feel like a capitalistic pig for even thinking about this, but lets see how it goes for a couple of months. I actually didn't want too blog about any of this. Lately I seem to be rethinking everything I want to write about and finally end up not writing about it, but I started typing out this post, and now i fell like I have to publish it. I feel pretty horrible doing so, but this is my blog and this is what I'm feeling right now, so I'm gonna hit that publish button and hope to God that I don't get a ton of hate mail for this.