Day 1 at College

• Went late for my first class.

• Dozed off in class.
  

• Got caught for dozing off in class.
  
  
• Whined about the rest of the year.
  

• Ate crap food from the canteen.

• Got sick.
  

• Did absolutely nothing productive when I got back home.

Yup, I'd say I kept the traditions alive.

randomness...need I say more? CHAPTER 2

randomness...need I say more? CHAPTER 1 - Written on August 1st, 2007 exactly a year ago.

I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I'm not sure what it has to do with, but 'pissed off' is all I see written on my forehead when I look into the mirror.

My third year at college starts on Monday and no, I am in no way ready for it. It also is not my final year, as a result of which there isn't much to look forward to. I don't want to go into college on Monday feeling all blah, because I'm certain it will screw things up for the rest of the year. Yes, that's the little superstitious person in me talking. So I need to get out of this funk I'm in, so the rest of my year can be slightly less crappier than it usually is.

God, I can't even listen to myself anymore. I hate being so crabby. I'm going to blame it on my genes.

Its actually a couple of hours past the 31st of July but I couldn't bear letting this blog have only three entries for the month, so I'm cheating a little and pushing the date back on this, so I'll have four posts under July. Why, you ask. Because I feel a little guilty, and maybe this will help ease the guilt a tad. You see, the thing is, I've been sitting on my ass this whole month, doing nothing, and I couldn't even find the the extra few minutes it takes to get myself from wherever I was lazing, to the seat in front of the computer to supply this dear little space that I love so much with a couple of words. So an attempt to redeem myself is in order.

The thing with me is, its either all or nothing. Either I bring total mayhem and madness into my life by making myself completely busy or I sit around doing nothing, and by nothing, I actually mean nothing. I said the word 'nothing' thrice in the last sentence so you'll know that it actually means 'nothing'. As I was saying, either I kill my self with work without sleeping a wink, or I do no work at all and sleep until 3 pm. Either starve myself and work out like a maniac or just eat whatever I want in insane quantities. You see, the word balance does not happen to be in my dictionary and trying to achieve an equilibrium at things is something that's way beyond my league. And this I'm going to blame on being an only child. The 'siblingless-ness' of it all brought it out in me.

If you haven't noticed by now, blaming other people, things and situations is something I do on a regular basis. And this I'm going to blame on my nuclear family. My father blames my mother for things, my mother blames my father, they blame me, I blame them. Its a vicious cycle, this blaming game. And one that's isn't planning on dying out anytime soon, I'm afraid.

Another thing you didn't need to know about me. Seriously I should rename this blog 'Unnecessary Confessions Of a Sour Lemon'. Way more fitting, don't you think?

Messiness, thy name is me.

An extremely untidy person by nature, I pretty much spent my whole adolescent and teenage life listening, to my mother scream at me, to clean up the pig sty that was my room. Disobedience, being my norm, I hardly ever adhered to those frequent orders.

I'm still as messy as I've ever been at home, but I've noticed that when I travel, especially alone, I am freaking obsessive compulsive. Turns out there is some of my mother's blood flowing through my veins, after all.

I went on two trips this year with college. We were a bunch of four in a hotel room, an inexplicably tiny hotel room might I add, with one double bed and barely enough space to put our feet. Four college girls doesn't exactly spell the bare necessities in terms of luggage. So there we are, all cramped up in this tiny room, which we unfortunately will call home for the next two weeks, and I get this rabid urge to tidy the place up. So my best friend and I start to clean, stowing away luggage, folding clothes, picking up wet towels off of the floor, throwing away food that's gone way past its 'best before' date, you know, the usual 'living-out-of-a-suitcase' scene. So we finally get done, and sit back surveying our work. Proud of the job we'd done, I pick up my book and continue on the adventures of three young women in Dublin (yes, I live on Chick lit, so sue me!!) when I see a comb that's on the table, slightly askew. I don't know what came over me that minute, I lunged across the bed, jumped over a couple of suitcases barely escaping landing on my face, and moved the comb two centimeters to the right so that it would be in place.

The moment I did that, I stopped. Disbelief washed over me, as I realized that I, the girl who went months without washing her bike, actually moved my fat ass from one end of a room to another to put a comb, of all insignificant things, in its place!

The reason I bring this up is that I've been home for two months now, and only a couple of weeks ago, did I get around to cleaning my room. I can safely say that while the task in itself was no piece of cake, it definitely would not have taken the amount of time that I took on it, which give or take was about three weeks.

Here are some pictures to prove it. (Sorry about the quality, a very sad VGA camera phone was all I had to work with!)

Three weeks later. Not perfect, but awesome for my standards.

So, that's the result of three weeks hard labour. Translation : Two and a half weeks of procrastination and 3 days of work.

Oh, and I hope I didn't scare you guys off with the filth that I lived in. Just trying to keep it real here folks.

Next week, my monstrosity of a closet.

Don't ask me how I get clothes outta there. Its a modern mystery.

While I'm the epitome of untidiness in this aspect, I expect nothing less than perfection from myself when I turn in work at college. Having to attain perfection in a room of crap can be quite a task. And that's something I'll have to repeat ten times everyday hereafter, so I can stop messing up my room.

Can you see the difference between ME - 'The Traveller' and ME - 'The lazy slug at home'. The difference is truly phenomenal. Now the only thing left to do is find someone to sponser my travel so I can learn to be a tidier person or learn to be happy living amongst the filth.
Though the former is extremly tempting, I'd be completely satisfied doing the latter.

Now THERE'S something you didn't need to know about me.

Random much?

Its very unbecoming of me to get serious on my blog. And also slightly scary. So lets revert back to the usual nonsensical crap that I so easily manage to churn out, shall we. Bulleted list of all the happenings in this little life of mine.

• After many failed attempts of getting back into my former obsessive reading habit, I have finally finished my first book of the summer and am halfway through the next one. For someone who used to live in the library, practically the entire summer, the TV and the internet have truly wrecked havoc in my life. I'm not complaining though.

• For a person who 99% of the time, thinks she's right, having to say "I was wrong, you were right and I'm sorry" doesn't exactly happen to be in my repertoire. This is definitely not something to be proud of, but it is something that I have been working on.

• Being on the heavier side, shopping for clothes is painful to say the least. If I was trying to be descriptive.. indescribably, excruciatingly horrific would be an understatement. Now this shopping experience wouldn't be half as bad if you had a mother who say, was not that into shopping for herself or a mother who wasn't half your size. Unfortunately, my mother happens to fall into both those categories. So while the experience of trying on a billion outfits and finding that none fit you is traumatic enough, whats worse is your mother walking out of the store with more clothes for herself than you, even though you originally went to shop for yourself.

• Sitting at home and lazing around is something that I have elevated to an art form. I should write a book on it. It would probably be a best seller.

• I have horrible hair. Its curly one day, its wavy the next. It never stays the way its supposed to and is terribly tiresome...is what someone who actually cared would say. I have never been one to look after myself. I use zero hair products except for shampoo and conditioner, zero moisturizers and creams, zero makeup except for kajal, that is if I can find it. I'm very low maintenance in this sense, but I got my hair cut a couple of days ago, and trust me when I say, it is by far the worst one I've ever had, and trust me I've had my fair share of bad hair cuts. The worst part? It cost me six hundred bucks! If it were up to me, I'd have gone to the fake Chinese salon down the road, but no, my mom convinced me to go someplace "nice", because I don't cut my hair too often. And that is the story of the worst hair cut. That and being called 'Simba' because of my wild mane.
  

• I love my google reader, have I ever mentioned that before. Its the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I check before I go to sleep. Yes, I realize I need some sort of detox, but I don't want any and its a choice I'm happy to make. I subscribe to over 120 blogs ranging from personal blogs to tech blogs to design & photoshop blogs to cooking blogs to celeb blogs to pop culture blogs to craft blogs. Basically my point is, I read A LOT of blogs, but I've come to notice that it is never enough. I spend the whole day refreshing the page, because I read them all so quickly and I'm left wanting more, which isn't exactly possible because not many people update more than once a day. Anyway, the bottom line, I need more blogs to read. I love going to other people's blogs and stumbling upon other blogs, but that gets tiring after awhile. I know there are a lot of people who read this site and don't comment. I want to read your blogs! You don't ever have to comment again, just this once to leave your blog address behind, so I'll have more stuff to read. Its only fair! powerdrunk.blogspot.com...I'm talking to you! Send me an invite will you, I'd love to read! To people who already comment, I read all your blogs and love them all!
  

It took a week to post this cause I'd sit down everyday and write only one point.
I think I can proudly claim the title of queen of procrastination after this, don't you?

Of the future, life and of hope...

Walking down the road the other day, I found myself in the middle of what seemed like a gaggle of freshmen from a nearby college. They were walking together in groups, and as I crossed the road, I landed right between two of these groups. The pair of girls in front of me were chattering loudly and me, being myself, walked a little faster to catch up to them to listen to what they were saying. Yes, I eavesdrop. Its a vice or rather an activity of mine, that I tend to indulge in, on a regular basis. It ends up giving me a lot to laugh about but also having to deal with people who catch me laughing to myself in public. That can be quite embarrassing, although completely worth it.

Anyway, as I caught up to the girls, I heard them talking about marriage and astrologers and the like. One was the girls had supposedly gone to see her family astrologer the previous day, who had told her that she might get married the following year or something in that context (I couldn't hear too well). The other girl replied saying that her astrologer had told her that she might get married the year she turns 23. Both the girls were mighty excited at the prospect of their future weddings and were giggling the same way I remember doing when I was their age.

I remember sitting around friends at slumber parties, imagining all our weddings. The time, the place, the clothes, the shoes, the men...we talked about it all, delighting ourselves with each little detail, our giggles laced with hopes for the future and for the rest of our lives.

Now, when I think of the future, I don't see weddings, or husbands, or babies. I see myself, sitting down at the end of a hard day's work, looking out a window at the pouring rain, thanking God that I had made it home before it started. I also see myself happy, albeit the absence of the cushy family life that was previously a big chapter in my book of images of the future.

Its weird the way your outlook on things can change in a short period of time. The way I saw things in December are most definitely not the way I see them now. I can actually feel this surreal transition into adulthood and let me tell you, it is not pretty. I'm beginning to realize my strengths and my weaknesses, and finding out that I have more of the latter than of the former has been pretty tough. At times I feel like I'm being cynical, but then I actually think about it and I realize that this is reality, this is life. This is the thing that everyone screws up at least a couple hundred times. Life isn't gonna be a bed of roses, heck it isn't even gonna be a bed of malli poos*! And exams aren't gonna be the worst things that we face! Its scary this realization. I've learnt a lot about myself in the past month, some stuff that makes me happy, and some stuff that makes me sad, wait, scratch that, a lot of stuff that makes me sad, but I've also learnt, that these are the things that make a person. Not necessarily a perfect person, but a person none the less. And this is the only person that we've got to work with, so we better make the best of it.

Life is funny. It makes you smile one day and it makes you cry the next. I guess that's the great thing. Not knowing the future is a perfect gift because it allows room for hope, and hope is something we all can do a little of.


*malli poo - tamil for jasmine flowers

Mosaic

Spotted this tag somewhere, and was itching to do it, but unfortunately, when I tried answering the questions, I was stumped. Believe me, I spent 45 minutes just on the second question. It was like I being held at gunpoint, making a life or death decision! Oh and my new flickr obsession also slightly fueled this tag.

Anyway, here are the rules.

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker).

1. What is your first name?
Lemonade, to you.
2. What is your favorite food? Right now?
Pineapple Pizza. This is the answer I spent 45 minutes on. Pathetic, I know. (Not the pizza, but the fact that I love food so much that it was so hard for me to make a decision)
3. What high school did you go to?
Convent. I went to this convent in Chennai. Some of the best days of my life, yes, even with the obsessive compulsive white satin ribbon rule.
4. What is your favorite color?
Red. I think I've already mentioned this a couple hundred times here.
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
Wentworth Miller. Need I say more?
6. Favorite drink?
Definitely Lemon Tang. Its my lifeblood, this time of year.
7. Dream vacation?
Bora Bora, French Polynesia.
8. Favorite dessert?
Lemon Ice cream. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. If you're ever in Anna Nagar, go to Deli Fresh. Trust me, it'll be the best fifteen bucks you'll ever spend.
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy..hopefully.
10. What do you love most in life?
My family.
11. One Word to describe you.
Quirky. You see that, don't you?
12. Your flickr name.
Lemon Snap. Maybe its time I get over this lemon thing, no?


Flick Credits:
1. Lemonade and Lime, 2. Bacon & Pineapple Pizza, 3. Convent Distorted, 4. `paint the town red., 5. Wentworth Miller, 6. DSCF0140, 7. KAP Bora May 07, 2006-06, 8. pickled sour cherries on lemon ice cream, 9. don't worry be happy new year, 10. My family..., 11. Quirky, 12. Swedish snaps for the holidays


I'd take up this tag if I were you.

Its a nice way to spend 45 minutes pondering about your favorite food.

Smile

I'm in a weirdly happy mood. The kind that makes you smile for the tiniest things. The same kind where you're thankful for all the simple things in life.

Like old family photos.

Deliciously delightful french songs.

The joy of being able to do nothing all day.

That five minutes you believe in love after you watch a perfect chick flick.

The absence of the cell phone ringing.

That feeling when you realize that you already have the song that you've been frantically searching for on the internet for the past three days.

Licking chocolate off of your fingers.

Singing along loudly to cheesy old songs.
(Let me emphasize on the 'loudly' on that last sentence!)

Being able to put these feeling down.
(Not well, but at least I'll know that there were days like these when I'm down in the dumps!)


Anyway, I guess its just one of those days, or nights rather, considering that fact that its happens to be almost 4 in the morning!

To all you guys and to all the little things that make you smile. I know you know what I'm talking about.

Happy Friday!

You "actually" blog??

Let me tell you, hiding under a shell for ten days does absolutely nothing for your conscience. Your guilty conscience that is. Especially for a person like me, who gets itchy if she doesn't post on her blog for more than 5 days. But as per usual, procrastination still rates high on my set of daily activities, so its no wonder that I procrastinated getting out from under that shell.

So, here I am, not afraid anymore. The slew of people asking me if I "ACTUALLY" blog, made me go under the blankets and hide my face for fear that if I said yes, they'd all run and go find my blog and consequently read whatever I had managed to keep a secret for two years! Yes, sometimes, I actually am that self obsessed; thinking that people don't have lives and that all they'd want to do was come dig around the internet and find my blog. But then, at times like these I gradually get over myself , and realize that the world in fact does NOT revolve around me!

Anonymity is awesome! Did you know that? Especially in circumstances like these. Its gives you the freedom to say whatever you want, knowing that no one is going to judge you. And even if they do, who gives a shit, its not like they know who you are anyway.

But when those safe walls of anonymity are broken down, its like, there you are, in all your raw, messy, undignified glory for all the world to see. And no, you are not that in real life (Ok, maybe sometimes), rather you try not to be, that's why you keep a place like THIS for all your outbursts, rantings and other shenanigans. Come on, a girl has to vent! But now, when this somewhat sacred place is invaded, where exactly are you supposed to go??

Anyway, I've decided that I can't be bothered anymore. If people I know find this space, let them! They can use the material on this page as fodder for gossip, they can form opinions, they can change opinions and they can judge all they want. I'm done hiding beneath that shell...and you know what..

It feels great to be back.

:)

The Blogger Part..Finally!!

Ok, first off, all those who attended the meet, my apologies for making you sit through that painful 1.2 minute supposed ‘welcome’ that I gave!

Anyway, back to the beginning of the story. After an enormous fight with my mother about her punctuality issues, I stormed out of the house, tear streaked face and all, car keys in hand, determined to get to T.nagar in 15 minutes flat.

I made it in about 24 minutes. (With a couple more to spare before the meet was scheduled to start.)

So I walk in, with a nervous smile on my face, my apprehension getting the best of me, find the first empty seat (which happened to be in the second row) and plonk myself down, waiting pretty impatiently to see a face that I could recognize. A couple of minutes pass, with me nervously looking around the room and vaguely smiling at people, who for the record were not smiling back at me! At this juncture, I have to confess that I'm an extremely shy person and find it very hard to go up to a person and introduce myself. Yes I have some confidence issues. Now, ssh, don't tell anyone that!

Prayers answered, Anju walks in, and daintily perches her pretty little self right in front of me. I find a friend in her and am thankfully kept company until the meet officially started.

A PowerPoint presentation with the Indiblogger boys hilariously running up to the screen and covering the ‘Pune’ credit later, everyone began to loosen up. The 1 minute of fame round was pretty interesting with almost all the bloggers coming up and introducing themselves and their blogs. And by 1 minute, I mean 1 minute, since I was the official time keeper and all, now made famous by a very embarrassing picture in ‘The Hindu’!

We then had a break of about 30 minutes during which Anju, JollyRoger, Captain Jack sparrow, Bungi, Divia and me, laughed our asses off, for what I can’t seem to remember now! As JollyRoger said, a near riot was caused by the six of us!

After everyone had had their fill of the food and nearly not as much of the laughter, the ‘Do you know your readers’ round began, where, random comments (that I scrounged and picked from around the net) were read out and the owner of the blog from where the comment was taken had to stand up and do a lil jig. There was then a play by ‘The Rebelz’, a presentation on mobile blogging by 'The Pseudonym' and another presentation on Windows Live writer by Sandhya Rajan.

The meeting wrapped up with everyone greedily grabbing at the “WE BLOG, THEREFORE WE ARE’ Indiblogger t-shirts. Thanks you guys and Renie (you know for what..he he)

Oh crap, forgot to mention that i was made to do the Indiblogger jig too, since i was the one who collected the comments (Anju, I’m gonna get you for this!) which was not a good idea because, I can safely say that i am in the only person in the world whose two left do not point to the left, but point all the way to the back. Seriously, I suck at dancing. So, any slight dance move, or any move for that matter, gets killed even before I attempt to do it!

All in all, Sunday was the most fun I’d had in a long, long time considering the fact that I’d been stuck at home WITH the chicken pox and WITHOUT the internet for the past three weeks!!

It was great seeing so many bloggers all in one place and that too at the newly proclaimed blogging capital of India. I met some awesome people and made some great friends, (you know who you are!) What else could you ask for, seriously!

Again, I’d like to thank all you guys at Indiblogger and all the bloggers who turned up. It was great fun!

So Renie, when's the next one happening??


PS: Oh and I was on NDTV, making all kinds of faces. To say that it was embarrassing, is a gross understatement people!!

Oh and here are a few Pictures!!

NOISE

12 hours from now, I will be hurriedly dragging a bulging suitcase across Chennai Central Station trying to find a train which will take me to Calicut, where I am sure I'll be a victim of the 'Whine, Moan and Groan' Gods for the next 13 days.

Usual circumstances, I would be excited. This time I'm not.

Traveling with 60 other people, the majority of whom you don't converse with, because you cannot understand the freakin' language, is not my idea of fun. God, I hate Hindi. (hold the comments, guys!)

Even after all these years, it gives me the chills when I think about how I used to shiver and shake, the nights before my Hindi exams. 11 years of studying the language and the only thing I can say half decently is 'tumhara naam kya hai'. It is disgraceful and I know it, but when you wholeheartedly decide to loathe something at the tender age of five, it kinda sticks.

When you enter a college in your own city where 95% of the student population are from the other end of the country, language tends to be a bit of a problem. Being someone who has to know what everyone is saying around her, all the time, this language thing proves to be pain in the ass. I put up with it for 2 years, I have 2 more to go, but I can't say I'm looking forward to 312 hours of being surrounded by that NOISE.

I'm pretty sure I did not sign up for this.