For those who still visit or is that just me?

I finally went somewhere!

Anyway, I have moved.

So if my dosage of pessimism still appeals, you are more than welcome to join me there.

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of ANNABEL LEE;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea;

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,

In the sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

-Edgar Allan Poe

First I was afraid, I was petrified

A favorite from the Post Secret blog. If we had a subway system in Chennai, this could have well been my postcard.

I have a habit of saving Post Secret images that I strongly relate to, and rather surprisingly or NOT, there are quite a few that I completely identify with. This being one of them. We may not have a subway system (as yet) in the city, but I've sung out loud in almost every empty room that I was sure was empty. From standing in the middle of the school compound, singing off key at six thirty in the morning, to singing my heart heart out on the bike, to singing at work right before I shut the place for the evening.

Hey, give me an empty subway car right now, and I bet I can give your cliché karaoke version of "I Will Survive' a run for its money, off-key and all.

Hello again!

I reckon its about time I started injecting some life into this long abandoned space of mine. I was perusing through my excuse for a best friend today when I came across chutney's post and remembered that I had a little of my own 'reviving of a blog' to do. So, inspired, I vow to do the same and post a little something everyday for the next thirty days.

Now I cannot promise you any profound thoughts or wit or humor or anything even vaguely readable, but I do promise myself at least an hour's worth of laughter when I'm old and shriveled and have nothing to do other than regale at my life as a twenty something cynic. Isn't that reason enough to even attempt this crazy experiment? Crazy, because I haven't written in over six months, but primarily because like most experiments I've conducted in the past, success wasn't exactly a part of the outcome. Yes, I'm a right bucket of sunshine, aren't I?

So here goes.

30 days.

Irrelevant droning.

Pointless drivel.

Incoherent sentences.

Aren't YOU in for a treat?

Got some words on cardboard...

A documentation of all the big events of my life was the original purpose of this blog, but somewhere along the way, the 'big' from big events got replaced by 'random', and then further along the way, the word 'events' got pretty much lost, which I'm sure I made clear with my intense need to reiterate the fact that my life was duller than Dr. Phil on a rainy day. So, basically all I was left with was 'random', which I used to my full advantage, as you would know if you've been around here awhile. But for those of you who haven't, yes, people in the blog world call me lemon and yes, 'randomly' droning on about absolutely nothing at all is something I do with great pride.

But, I digress (as usual). I'm here, rather surprisingly (because lately, finding it in me to type out a few sentences has been a task that was better left untouched), to in fact document a big event in my life. I hereby announce that I am done with college. Well, I'm technically not done until April but who's looking to nit pick at insignificant details like those.

I started a six month internship two weeks ago, and I now spend almost every waking moment in front of a computer screen. My ultimate dream come true! No, but on a more serious note, its where I'm most comfortable, so things seem to be going pretty great for me at the moment, with an emphasis on 'at the moment'. Not counting my chickens or anything, mind you. Working a conventional 9 to 5 job in an unconventional work environment is interesting to say the least. I'm taking my time figuring out the in's and the out's of it, and that's pretty much all I can say about it at this point in time.

In other news, the incessant downpours that Chennai has been plagued with for the past four weeks have surprisingly reduced my lifelong hatred towards the rains. Now I still haven't gotten to that stage where I'm jumping up and down if I see a single grey cloud in the sky. I'm at that stage where I'm not screaming bloody murder when I DO see a grey cloud looming, which is pretty phenomenal in itself, thus qualifying it as being another 'big event' that needed documenting.

Wow, I'm averaging at a one big event per week these days. Sure am making up for all that lost time I spent doing nothing with my life. Lets hope this trend continues, at least for the sole reason that this space won't be abandoned anymore.


PS: Loving this song at the moment. Albeit slightly creepy, its endearing as hell.

hmmm

A whirlwind of a week later, I'm in a new place in my life. A place that was not even remotely on the cards. But for the record, I'd just like to say, that it it feels pretty damn good.

4 months later.

The madness that is college . The 'sort of cute' guy at the gym . Chicago . Not the place, the play . Losing weight . Dancing for the first time . Ever . Facebook . Interning . Riding around town like a crazy person . Losing friends . Dancing some more . Acting or trying to, at least . Realizing that the 'sort of cute' guy at the guy was not cute at all, and was a year and a half younger than me . Wearing a LBD on stage! Loneliness . Devouring six entire seasons of One Tree hill . Friends getting engaged . Portfolios . Apple Crumble . Making friends . 10 Downing Street . 'Single My Ass'. Sleepless nights . The possibility of moving to Bombay . Rehearsals . The 7 day diet . Putting on weight . Glitzy costumes . Not being the perpetual wallflower for once in my life .

That pretty much sums up the past four months. The four months during which I couldn't find it in me to update this space, not because I didn't have anything going on my life, but because I was utterly and completely uninspired. I'd manage to get about three sentences down before I'd decide to abandon it. This happened about thirty times, so there's roughly round ninety random sentences laying around my drafts folder. In case you haven't noticed, I'm balancing precariously on that thin line between 'stop writing forever' and 'stop writing forever, you suck'.

Today happens to mark my 3rd year in the blogosphere, which is pretty much insignificant considering the fact that for the past six months, I've been the most suckiest blogger around.

I plan to change that though, hopefully.

I miss it here. I miss being able to be my weirdo self, I miss you guys (If any of you'll still read this, that is), I miss the feeling I used to get every time I received a comment, I miss how words used flow from my fingers with an ease that seems almost impossible now but mostly I miss the joy that this corner of the Internet always brought to me.

July 6th, 2010

A date to remember, because according to some crappy quiz on facebook, I'm meant to meet my soulmate on that date.

Unbelieveble right?! I haven't written in almost three months and the only thing that's motivated me enough to post is some stupid result from some retarded quiz on facebook of all places! What can I say, the dreariness of my life is forcing me to be a pathetic dumb ass, but let's not go into that right now.

God! I just spent half an hour doing random love quizzes on facebook, without realizing that it was showing up on my profile page even after I kept choosing the dam 'Skip' button. Seriously, I need to get a life.

I've been in such a funk lately. A more comprehensive update will be up soon, that is, if I can get my fingers to type out more than the usual three random sentences that never seem to get published!

April '09

The fact that today is the 30th is the reason I am forcing myself to post, because I know that when I look back at this blog, an empty space between March 2009 and May 2009 would break my heart. 

The recent evidence of my complete and total abandonment of this blog makes me terribly sad. 

I could say that the reason for that would be that I just couldn't find the words to say what I wanted to say or that I didn't feel like saying what I wanted to say, but the truth of the matter is that, there was NOTHING TO SAY, period, so the whole contemplation of how to say it was a complete non-issue. 

There is absolutely nothing going on in my life that is worth taking about, nothing even worth mentioning. I mean seriously, how could the life of a twenty year old be so unbelievably dull. 

It is so dull in fact, that, when I smiled at the ONE sort of cute boy at the gym (who for the record smiled back at me), it was the single most interesting thing that had happened in my life for at least the three weeks that preceded and succeeded that 'not-so thrilling-in-a-normal-person's-life' event. And no, I'm not kidding. I'm twenty freakin' years old, smiling at a 'sort of' cute boy (whose name I don't know, by the way) should not be the only exciting(?!) incident of the month.

So, while my life has been spiraling down into a pit of mundane nothingness, tell me what's been up with yours?

2 Oh

So, I turned 20 on the 5th.

Twen-ty. 

As in the big TWO OH, twenty. 

As in 240 months, twenty.

As in 1043.6 weeks, twenty.

As in 7305 days, twenty.

As in the 20 after 19, twenty.

Yup, that's the 20 I'm talking about. 

The life of a twenty year old female in this day and age is filled with five hundred friends on Facebook, a phone that needs to be surgically removed from her ear, gossip over coffee with the girls, parties, illegal drinks at said parties and not to mention a tote bag full of drama.

Such is the case of a normal twenty year old. The epitome of an abnormal one on the other hand would be me.

I know, that the only sane thing to do right now would be to channel Joey and scream "Why God, Why?!!" until I'm convinced God can hear me, but funnily, I cannot be more relived.

Why you ask, well, for one, I was never a typical teenager to begin with. Sure like every other teenage girl there was the inevitable ‘Boy Band' phase and the 'The-Phone-Is-My-Lifeline' phase and the 'Boy-Crazy' phase. But being the weirdo that I was, there was also the "Insufferable-grandma-of-the-Gang" phase, the "Head-Accountant-At-Lunches" phase and the 'I-Have-This-Compulsive-Need-To-Act-35' phase. 

Twenty days ago, the prospect of turning 20 seemed daunting. Honestly I couldn’t understand how a person who felt like she was 14 and on occasion acted like she was 60 could actually be on the verge of turning 20. Finding middle ground unfortunately has never been my forte. 

20 is definitely a weird place to be in, because you’ve lost the right to scream at the top of your lungs for no apparent reason (which previously could have been blamed on teenage angst), yet you’re not old enough to go out and get yourself a beer (Not that I want to by the way, get myself a beer that is). Its a stage where you have to tread carefully, making sure you don't falter, back into your, much too familiar 'teenagy' past. To tell you the truth, I've actually found myself mature more in the past few days than I ever have in my entire life.

I'm not the same girl I was.

I'm in my 20's for heaven's sake!

God, it feels wierd to say that.